He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
