youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
