i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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