she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
FUCK WHALES
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