if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
