spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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