Having a random hookup so left but love u
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
