Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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