I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize