glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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