So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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