my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
