he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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