She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
