hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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