I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
