I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
