That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
