Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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