sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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