I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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