HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
