...so i touched it.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
