That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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