Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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