She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
