I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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