highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
