You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The air was thick with penises
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
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