Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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