you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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