weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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