I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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