Betty ford says i'm here all night
we made out on top of his cat.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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