I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
