btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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