How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
