it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
