Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(703): View more from Virginia

like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.

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(+34): View more from Spain

First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?

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