Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.