You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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