The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
