also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
