I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Pants are for mortals
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
