i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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