Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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