I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
