I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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