I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I want her autograph on my taint
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
