Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
