I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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