i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize