The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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