We need to rekindle our bromance
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
