The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
