i was born a porn star she said
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
is wine microwaveable?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
