hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
