Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
