i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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