You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize